Helicopter Dieting

The Washington Post's Amy Joyce wrote an article earlier this month detailing "How helicopter parents are ruining college students." As a mother of two daughters, starting their freshman years in college and high school, I've observed more than a fair share of hovercraft parenting, as common in suburban America as SUVs and soccer games.

Over parenting is hardly a new issue effecting baby boomers and their millennial progeny. As long as I can remember, there have been parents who sort of adopt the LAPD's motto to "Protect and Serve," swooping down to pick up a toddler to avoid a scraped knee or calling a teacher when little Britney gets a "B." As much as it pains parents to see our babies hurt or struggling, we need to guide kids to confidence to make healthy choices and decisions.

Since this is a nutrition blog, I wanted to address another form of what I see as an especially harmful practice, what I'll call "helicopter dieting."

Though we are experiencing an unprecedented upswing in childhood obesity, I'd like to talk about the flip side. For every kid who is seriously overweight, there are probably one or two mothers pushing diets on their younger daughters. Sure, none of us want our children to face potential health risks, teasing, or other consequences of a few extra pounds during childhood or adolescence. We'd all be happier if our kids chose kale and quinoa over cupcakes and cheese puffs. One of our jobs as parents is to model healthier food choices. But, there's a fine line between encouraging your kids to eat more greens and adopting the role of Food or Body Image Police.

When we show our daughters we are uncomfortable with our bodies, jumping from one restrictive diet program to another or make disparaging remarks about our own bodies in front of our kids, we pretty much lead them straight into a life marked by compulsive dieting and body image issues.

And when we make the decision or encourage our daughters to follow an overly restrictive food program, we just douse that flame with oil till it becomes a five alarm fire.

A study by the Keep It Real campaign, a joint effort between Miss Representation, the SPARK Movement, Love Social, Endangered Bodies, and I Am That Girl concluded that 8 in 10 ten year old girls have been on a diet. The study also reported that the number one wish for girls 11-17 was to be thinner.

We can blame the media. We can point fingers at Seventh Avenue and Hollywood where models and actresses shrink to resemble ten year old boys with curves. And though the constant attention on weight loss and who's skinny --and who's not -- certainly impacts our daughters (and ourselves), we also need to look closer to home.

When we make food into a control issue, we open a whole set of issues, whether we are demanding a toddler finish his broccoli before he leaves the table or gets dessert or asking a 13-year old if she "really needs that second piece of pizza."

The same thing goes for dragging a seven-year old or even a teen to Weight Watchers or putting everyone on Paleo.

We need to focus on eating foods that serve our bodies with wiggle room to enjoy a slice of birthday cake or a favorite restaurant meal. And that is just the message we need to give our daughters (and sons.)

Encourage daughters to participate in a physical activity they enjoy instead of putting the focus on burning calories. Change can only happen when we respect and love our bodies.

That goes for ourselves and our children.